One of the most damaging myths shaping our world is that of individualism – the expectation and assumption that we achieve success by ourselves.
That we are supposed to do things on our own.
That having a team detracts from the win.
That we’re supposed to know how to adult – and how to use our voices – alone.
The focus on and celebration of individual heroes in media only reinforces this myth.
Reality is – everyone needs a team.
We need people around us to nudge us in the ways we want to go, to hold us when we fall, to keep us going when we want to give up. Finding and using your voice is not a solo sport – especially in a world that feels ever hostile and with lives that are ever frantic.
So, who is on your team?
Below are three questions to answer that will help you make sure you’re not going it alone.
1) How do you want to show up?
Be clear about who you want to be. What values do you want to live by? Not your company values, but your personal values. At the end of your life, how do you want to have lived? How do you want to move through the world day-to-day? Having that clarity of intention allows you to invite people to nudge you toward that reality.
2) Who can you invite onto your team?
Having people to text or call helps. Seeing a thought in writing or hearing yourself describe a situation out loud often helps you realize the answer you already knew. Like the time I thought about taking two back-to-back red-eye flights – simply typing the question made me realize why it was a bad idea. Why spiral on a question for days when a simple text can quickly unlock the answer?
Your team is also the voices you listen to in the books, articles, podcasts, the media you consume. If you’re reading this, thanks for letting me be on your team in some small way.
3) What role do you want people to play?
One of the most painful things is when you’re hoping for people to be helpful, but they end up making the situation worse. To head off that possibility, give anyone you invite onto your team a specific role.
- Can you help me think through pros and cons?
- When I come to you, ask me the question, “What do you want/need?”
- You know the person I want to be. What should I do here?
None of us can go through life alone.
What does your team look like?
Elaine
