In working with leaders at all levels, I’ve heard and observed a refrain that doesn’t sit well with me. That refrain?
“I have no power.” “My hands are tied.”
I get it. As mid-level management, you’re executing on more decisions than you are making. As a CEO, you still typically report to a Board. As a sibling, spouse, or friend, your actions impact the people around you – and you have to live with them, literally.
But this is also where we fall into a trap:
When we focus on the power we don’t have, we fundamentally underestimate the power we do have.
Power to defend, normalize difference, introduce doubt, and affirm – to do something.
Our silence leaves our colleagues and team members vulnerable and isolated.
Our silence tells people that bad behavior is acceptable and that we’ll allow it to continue.
Few of us want to be confrontational. So know that saying something doesn’t have to mean conflict.
If you want to say something, but aren’t sure what to say, here are 4 suggestions:
- “I see things differently.” Different doesn’t mean they are wrong or to blame. It just means not the same.
- “I can see where [person] is coming from.” Demonstrate empathy and acknowledgement while validating another person’s perspective.
- “From where I sit…” Each of our perspectives is legitimate but limited. Own your frame of reference while making sure your perspective is in the mix.
- “Hearing X makes me wonder…” Build upon a dissenting opinion. Wonderment also gives you the option to move from the immediate to the theoretical.
Don’t leave people out to dry. Don’t leave people to fend for themselves. Because if it were you on the other end, I’m imagining you would want someone else to say something.
To using our power today,
Elaine
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When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help…
- Connect with me on LinkedIn for tips on leadership, communication, and navigating toxic workplaces weekdays at 9am ET.
- Pre-order my book Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin 2024) – for yourself, or for someone you care about.
- Hire me to speak virtually or in person.
